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WHAT EVERYONE KNOWS | Solomon Kim
December. Visit forty-seven. New resident, night shift.
Everyone knows she's drug-seeking.
She arranges coins by year: 2009, dissertation defense,
fingers shake. Cold, not withdrawal. He charts "tremor."
January. Fifty-one. Same resident recognizes her.
Everyone knows she's lying about the PhD.
She corrects his pronunciation: "Pneumocystis."
Flawless. Stops him mid-typing.
February. Fifty-five. He googles at 3 AM,
finds her dissertation.
"Narratives of Medical Abandonment."
Everyone knows she's delusional.
Reads her dedication: "For Mom, who believed."
March. Fifty-nine. Brings her tea. Real cup, still warm.
She holds it like prayer, like memory
of faculty meetings, of being human.
Everyone knows she wastes money.
April. Sixty-three. She's coughing blood.
He fights attending: "Admit her." "Bed shortage."
Everyone knows the shelter's available.
Shows him her neck. Finger marks. Can't speak.
May. Sixty-seven. Slips antibiotics in her bag.
She teaches him Woolf between gasps,
about women needing rooms. He understands she's dying in public.
Everyone knows she won't try.
June. Seventy. Smaller each visit.
Charts "failure to thrive." Attending deletes it.
"Social issues." Everyone knows how this ends.
July 15th. Different resident. "Frequent flyer."
He sprints from the lot. She grabs his hand,
mouths: "Show, don't tell." Dies teaching. 5:47 AM.
Her discharge papers,
margins filled with red-pen corrections to his charts.
All seventy.
Teaching him to see her dying properly.
Everyone knows everything. Nobody learned enough.
Solomon Kim is a fourth-year medical student at California Northstate University College of Medicine, currently completing a research year. Kim's writing explores healthcare disparities and patient advocacy, drawing from personal experiences with the medical system. His work seeks to give voice to marginalized patients, particularly those experiencing homelessness and mental illness. Kim is interested in psychiatry and narrative medicine as tools for systemic change.