Andrea Eisenberg is an OB/GYN in the metro Detroit area who has been in practice 26 years. She writes about her experiences in medicine exploring the relationships and bonds that are formed. Her essay “Willing to Die” appears in the Fall 2019 Intima. — Andrea Eisenberg is an OB/GYN in the metro Detroit area who has been in practice 26 years. She writes about her experiences in medicine exploring the relationships and bonds that are formed. Her essay “Willing to Die” appears in the Fall 2019 *Intima*.

Is there a limit to how much you can care for your patient? Can you become too close that your judgement as a physician may be clouded by emotion? In the essay “There’s a Limit to Your Love” by Margot Hedlin (Spring 2017 Intima), Hedlin believes that becoming too emotionally involved limits your ability to care for patients. She describes making a pact with her fellow classmates in medical school not to be one of “those” physicians who lacked empathy for their patients.

However, as she continues her training, she begins to think differently. “But I'm starting to question that pact because, as with surgery, I think my emotions may sometimes hold me back. You need to cut through tender skin to reach an inflamed appendix. You need to keep your voice from trembling as you discuss the patient who became floridly delirious overnight, because a sepsis workup can't wait for you to cry in the stairwell.”

Counter to this argument, I believe my emotional connection to my patient deepened our patient-physician relationship and helped my patient survive a traumatic experience. As I describe in “Willing To Die,” my tears did not cloud my medical judgement; rather, it gave me a moment to grieve openly with my patient and then be able to move on to be there clinically for her. In the end, the relationship was impactful and rewarding on many levels, us both seeing each other as a whole person, not just a doctor feeling inadequate and a patient in asystole with a preterm demise. In the end, we must find what works for us as physicians while caring for patients. However, feeling emotions does not necessarily cloud your judgement as a clinician or make it harder to lose a patient. For me, as an OB/GYN that takes care of patients for many years, through many transitions, the connections with my patients has made my career more fulfilling.

Andrea Eisenberg is an OB/GYN in the metro Detroit area who has been in practice 26 years. She writes about her experiences in medicine exploring the relationships and bonds that are formed. Her writing can be found on her blog , www.secretlifeofobgyn.com, and in Intima, The Examined Life and Pulse, and the Voice of the Heart of Medicine.