A response to Karen Lea Germain’s essay titled “Weight” in the Spring 2020 Intima. I begin with the weight of my parents’ cremains (analogues to those of Germain’s aunt and uncle), physical realities blending with the heaviness of regret. I will end, hopefully, with the lightness of relief (in which the pun of light includes illumination). At the center of my response to her fine essay is the weight of a military veteran’s sorrow.
Read moreOn Bodies and Minds: A Reflection on Raina Greifer’s Artwork 'Bodies' by Diane Forman
Raina Greifer’s artwork “Bodies” (Spring 2018 Intima) compels viewers to confront their own preconceptions and biases about body form. Her three headless, faceless bodies, of various sizes and depths, present a seemingly endless network of intertwined organs and bones, of breastplates and intestines and veins. Greifer urges the viewer to consider vulnerability, in the context of these drawings.
©Bodies by Raina Greifer. Spring 2018 Intima
Of course the body is much more than a composite of bones and organs, but a human cannot survive without the exquisite interplay of these parts. Greifer’s drawing asks me to consider not only the body’s intricate internal structure, but the external form shown to the world. Although the drawings are deliberately missing heads, the artist highlights the theme of vulnerability, which can only be contemplated through the integral component of the mind. Our minds magnify our vulnerability; our thoughts determine how we visualize ourselves, how we feel in our own skin.
After a lifetime of my own struggle with body dysmorphia, I was forced to confront both the mind and body’s strength and fragility when dealing with my daughter’s restrictive eating disorder, explored in my piece “Holding my Breath” (Spring 2020 Intima). Helplessly, I witnessed the ways in which the body fails without sufficient nutrition; how the body is reduced to conserving energy for the heart, brain, muscles, digestion. The body truly becomes a vessel of organs and bones all vying to survive.
But the starved mind is trying to survive too. Recovery is dependent on replenishing not only the organs with required energy, but the mind with recognition of the body's miracle and potential, whatever its size. I value Raina Greifer’s artwork, which encourages me to consider the vulnerability of the mind, and its intimate connection with the complexity of the body.
Diane Forman is a writer and educator. After a long career as writing tutor and educational consultant, Forman is currently working on a series of essays and a memoir. Additionally, she leads adult writing groups and retreats on the north shore of Boston. She holds a BS in English and Education from Northwestern University, and an Ed.M. from the Harvard Graduate School of Education and is an AWA affiliate, trained and certified to lead workshops in the AWA (Amherst Artists and Writers) method. Her non-fiction essay “Holding My Breath” appeared in the Spring 2020 Intima: A Journal of Narrative Medicine.
Poetry and Music: How Each Word in a Poem Reflects an Emotion by Anna Delamerced
Life is full of joy and sorrow. The melodies of life involve not only high moments, but low ones, too. My grandmother has lived through more than ninety decades. In those years she has endured war, found love, mourned the loss of relatives, suffered illness, survived a train crash, and discovered new happiness in grandchildren.
Each day carries a crossroads of pain and hope, suffering and healing. In my poem Evening Music, I sought to portray these crossroads. Words like “pillow”and “wooden bench” were written in the same line to juxtapose the softness and harshness of life. “Paper fan” and “electric fan” are used to show the fragility and strength in my grandmother. I wrote the final line, “She plays the piano even in the dark” to show that even if my grandmother has suffered much, she still sees light in the dark and makes something beautiful.
Ellen Sazzman’s poem Assisted Living Lullaby (Fall 2016 Intima) resonated with me and echoed similar sentiments. The words “lullaby” and “assisted living” brought together images of youth and old age in my mind. Life seems cyclical, as we sing lullabies to both infants and seniors. Music compels us to meditate on life, stirring memories of a wide breadth of emotions, from sad memories to happy ones.
Working in the medical world has reiterated the juxtaposition of the sorrows and joys of life. Each day in the hospital sees both life and death. How do we navigate all this? Do the sorrows make the joys all the sweeter? I do not have all the answers, but perhaps it is in poetry where I can wrestle with these thoughts and experiences. Writing allows us to wade in the gray, to make music in the dark.
Anna Delamerced is a medical student at the Warren Alpert Medical School of Brown University. She received funding through the Bray Medical Humanities Fellowship to pursue a year-long project, focusing on poetry for kids in the hospital. Her works have been published in KevinMD, Medscape, Abaton, Plexus, Murmur, Cornerstone and in-Training. She is passionate about listening to people tell their stories. Her poem “Evening Music” appears in the Spring 2020 Intima.
Thoughts on “Doctors and Disobedience” by Nina Gaby, APRN-PMH, CNS
Lisa Jacobs’ story, Doctoring and Disobedience, was gratifyingly evocative, reminding me of promises I had made to myself as a nursing student and then a psychiatric nurse practitioner. Trying to satisfy both one’s own ethics while following the wishes of the family or the legal rights of a guardian makes for often difficult treatment decisions.
Read moreFear in the face of Uncertainty: A Reflection about Patients and Medical Emergencies by Katrina Kostro
Whatever the diagnosis or prognosis, being a patient often includes elements of fear.
Read moreHidden Trauma: A Reflection on Artist Inés Ixierda’s “Fasciotomy” by Karen Germain
In my non-fiction story “Weight,” I explore the complicated relationship that I had with my aunt, as I was her caretaker in the final years of her life. My aunt suffered from a shocking injury when her left femur bone snapped as she was getting her morning newspaper.
Read moreOur Mission to Give Voice: A Physician-Poet’s Reflection on Speech and Human Connection by Katrina Kostro
Speech is a crucial element in human connection. Even more so these days, during the COVID-19 pandemic, when physical touch has become largely forbidden. One can imagine, then, the tremendous loss associated with aphasia – the loss of ability to understand or express speech.
Read moreThe Body Politic: Fashioning our own earthly justice in a challenging time by Adam Lalley
In the short story “Good As New” by Andrew Taylor-Troutman in the Spring 2020 Intima, the site of a teenager’s accidental death becomes a healing destination. At the little white cross beneath an oak tree, cancer is cured and the wounded throw off their wheelchairs. But when a line of pilgrims stretches into the next county, the miracle dries up.
Some, but not all, are restored. The inequity mirrors the disparities of our very own bodies— our health, even the lengths of our lives, are doled out unequally. There’s no earthly justice in our bodies.
Read moreSeeing is Believing: Reflecting on Miracles by Andrew Taylor-Troutman
A reflection on “My Grandpa” by Meghan Wang (Poetry / Spring, 2013)
I see his body, but I do not see him
So begins Meghan Wang’s poem and her words cut to the core of the grief I have known in watching an aged loved one. I have lost people before their actual deaths. I know that sight is a metaphor for understanding. That is the double-meaning of the poem’s line:
It’s hard to see him like this
Holding Vigil: The privilege of putting death off for another day by Elizabeth Lanphier
Stella’s speaker is running from patient to patient, hoping to catch some sleep in the call room; for my speaker it is only the mind that is running, keeping her awake.
Read moreSurrendering Trust in One’s Life is Just Another Stickie Note in Our Outlook Calendars: A Clinician’s Reflection by Jordan Teitelbaum
Taking care of people in the Operating Room is more than ‘just a job’ for both surgeons and anesthesiologists.
Read moreSpeaking of Speech by James Wyshynski
Reflection on the Desert By Elisabeth Preston-Hsu
Ting Guo’s poem “Vanishing Point” published in Fall 2016 was one of the first works I read on Intima and I’ve re-read it every few months since then. She is a lovely writer. We move with the narrator trying to make the best of a hum-drum cruise with family, flowing into imagery of water and desert to small, prickly wellsprings of cacti.
Read moreBeing a Patient: Coping with the Loss of Control and Privacy in a Hospital by Rebecca Grossman-Kahn
Patients often feel unexpectedly confined in the hospital.
Read moreA Physician's Response in an Emergency: Humility Complements Competence by Rachel Fleishman
Watching a medical emergency as a physician who is not functioning as a leader or caretaker unearths discomfort, a mingling of denied identity with humility. And it is from this vantage that we can harness the power of narrative medicine to create space for reflection, to make sense of medicine and how it unfolds.
Read moreOn the Sacrosanctity of the Body Chambers by Michal Coret
A medical student balances the duties of respect and learning in the anatomy lab.
Read moreWhen Treatment Takes Over: Thoughts on Two Visual Artworks by Simona Carini
Poetry and art explore the deeper emotional dimensions of cancer.
Read morePilgrimages at Nightfall: A Reflection on How We All Have to Help Each Other by Ariel Boswell
Michael Fredrick Geisser’s “Night Trip” (Fall 2015 Intima) takes place at the same time as my poem “Late Night,” that dark lonely hour when one should be asleep.
Read moreThe Worthwhile Art of Careful Listening by Hui-Wen Sato
We live in a world and line of work where so many voices compete for our attention. But as we consider the potential for hope and help that exists within our efforts to connect meaningfully with our patients, we are fueled with greater generosity of spirit even as we acknowledge our own limitations as healthcare providers, as humans.
Read moreOn the Value of Toys and Bridges: How Healers Make Connections by Samuel LeBaron
In my story “Bling” (Spring 2020 Intima), an adolescent’s “toys” create a connection that reawakens her joy and spirit for a brief, crucial moment.
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